That Night

Not often, but every once in a great while… I think about that night. I think about how it didn't go how either of us wanted. And how we just… couldn't talk about it. And, I get it. I do. I hold no grudges against you, I know it wasn't what you wanted, either.

But, I don't want it to happen again. Not… not the part where we couldn't spend time together in a way we both wanted. Well, that part, too, but… that's just the reality of our situation, and I accept that.

No… I'm talking about the part where we couldn't talk about it. The part where, even acknowledging that it was even an issue was… too much.

The part where… even though you had made very clear you weren't happy with how things went… I still had to flee, I still couldn't… I just… I couldn't.

Well. Maybe that's on me.

Still, though. Let's correct that. Let's talk. Let's make it so that, even if we can't avoid those things happening, we can avoid… the upset. The awkwardness. The pain. Or at least… assuage it. Salve it. As soon as we're able… not the next day, not if we can avoid it.

I don't know for sure if I've ever hurt you, but… I feel like I must have, at some point. And I don't want to. Not ever. So… let's talk.

I'll start.

I love you.